1. Slightly overweight.

2. Drinks too much.

3. Wears short skirts.

4. Obsesses over why a boy isn’t calling me.

5. Dating Hugh Grant and Colin Firth

Just gonna leave this here

1. Waking up the morning after a binge drinking night to find you’ve taken pictures of yourself trying to look sexy in Photobooth. (This may or may not have happened to me this weekend. The pictures are pretty funny. I’m trying to decide if I hate myself enough to post them. I mean what? No, not me.)

2. Being called out on never remembering someone’s name.

3. Late night text messages in general. Level of alcohol doesn’t matter. If it’s after 2 it’s not a good idea.

4. Pretending you’re not going to eat that In N’ Out in the car. Like it’s not for you.

5. Being caught looking at your Ok Cupid profile at work.

drmurdermachine:

Looking for someone to be my valentine this year. What I have to offer is a wonderful home cooked meal, and the company of a cleaver and handsomely dressed man.

Here are some guidelines to see if you would fit the bill:

・If you are familiar with your original 150 Pokemon

・If you have seen and…

Hey guys, date my friend Chris. I don’t want to sleep with him, but you will!

O-Town is getting back together without Ashley Parker Angel.

Dudek fixed that for you.

When are rehearsals?

theduty:

…and then the days go by.

interweber:

kellyreeves:

vondell-swain:

Jason Derulo Singing His Own Name [Extended Cut]

This is all I ever wanted out of you, Internet. (See my Spotify playlist)

OH MY GOD. Wow. WOW!!! WOW. Not over this. 

Tatum Theorum.

uuuggghhhhh:

If anyone is interested in a group suicide, message me!

Here you guys go. This will help.