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The Truth About How I Know I'm Not An Adult
Roommates. My room in my apartment is still my room, not the bedroom. Naps. Pre-drinking naps. Post-drinking naps. Post-sleeping in too late after drinking naps. Also, never underestimate that tender moment that is late afternoon wake up from a nap sex. Swoon! I’m still on my parents cell phone family plan….don’t judge me. My Mint account emails me to tell me I’ve gone...
Note to self: Use the term cock puke more often.
The Truth About Being The Only Person In The World...
What a strangely directed movie. Incredibly long establishing shots. Weird Why did that cop have that accent? And why was he putting up with that level of crazy. You have an accent and you’re a cop! Go find some other puss. I found it impossible for me root for Kristin Wiig’s character. What a terrible friend. Good intentions of not, her reactions we’re just ugggggghy ...
Important Personal Conversations With My Boyfriend
Me: Do you think that if I lived in the parks and rec universe Adam Scott's character would want to date me?
Cory: yeah sure whatever
The Truth About Irrational Crying
Patriotism. On my way to work this morning I was listening to the most recent This American Life. They played some audio of the kids at Penn State celebrating the news of the death of Osama Bin Laden. I had to consciously stop myself from crying….seriously. Mother’s Day commercials. I love my mom too! Quantum Leap. WHY CAN’T HE JUST GO HOME?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? Sports. No matter...
The Truth About Exercise
If you already exercise regularly, congrats you’re better than everyone. If you don’t, don’t start doing it a lot really quickly because you will feel like you have unmoving Barbie legs. Don’t take a yoga class where the teacher makes you chant things. This will cause you to ruin your relaxation with giggles. Also, make sure the gong in the corner is purely decoration. ...
I just saw a picture of Flavour Flav on TMZ with giant buckets of chicken behind...– The Truth About Liking Your Boyfriend’s Mother More Than Him
An incredible article about being depressed in New... →
The Truth About What You Think About While Singing...
Do I have the body type of a back up singer? Standing is hard. Is this song this high in real life? Those can’t be the words. Are those people talking about how bad I am?