September 2011
30 posts
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The Truth About Jew Year Resolutions
Spend more time with my money.
Go to the gym at the Jewish Community Center so I might meet a nice Jewish boy.
Quit smoking….my own salmon.
Lay off the Manischewitz.
Tikun Olam bitches.
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Dear New York,
I’ll see you on Friday.
You guys still have your own brand of condoms right?
Crazy Stupid Love,
Sara
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The Truth About Great Ways To Sign Off An Email
Love and Other Drugs, Sara
Eat Pray Love, Sara
Jennifer Love Hewitt, Sara
Love Shack, Sara
Love me Love me Say that you Love Me, Sara
Draw a Stickman →
urlesque:
Trust me. Try this.
[joshmorrissey]
This is so fun!
love this!
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The Truth About The Upside Of Fear
Maybe, just maybe, you’ll be too scared to get in that van. Free candy is pretty cool, though.
My BFF Amy is scared to leave her apartment because it gets dark at 7pm and there’s a rapist in her neighborhood. Upside: Hours and hours of quality time with her BFF, Ally McBeal.
There’s a chance that a boy will misconstrue you’re inability to speak to him as indifference and...
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The Truth About Anticipation
The first text and/or call from a new romantic prospect. Checking ones phone every 2 minutes to see if someone has texted you does not make one pathetic. Oh no wait. Yes, yes it does. Oof.
The first kiss. That moment right before it happens when you know its going to happen but you don’t want to be the person to actually make it happen. I have nightmares in which I’m constantly...
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The Truth About Things To Know At 14
Take Spanish. Take Spanish in school and fucking pay attention. Really learn any language. But if you’re in Southern California take fucking spanish. My half assed french has never done anyone any good.
Don’t hunch. Hunching isn’t going to stop people from noticing that your boobs grew 3 cup sizes over the summer and it will only lead to a bad habit.
Skipping class to smoke...
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The Truth About Things That Shouldn't Exist
What I wore today blogs. Why is this a thing? I pretty much wear the same thing every day, so more power to you if you can be a snappy dresser, but why does the world need to know?!
Brody Jenner. Society should not know his name/face. As a culture, we collectively know of the offspring of a semi famous Olympic athlete from the 70s. I’m really going to miss Brody Jenner when he dies from my...
Kreayshawn
drmurdermachine:
I think I have finally figured out why I like Kreayshawn so much. She is the closest anyone has come to matching Easy E’s sound.
spot on
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$150: IS YOUR TEEN CHILD USING SEX TO GET FAMOUS?... →
LOOKING FOR WORRIED PARENTS…
NATIONAL TV SHOW PAYING $150 REFERRAL FEE - IF YOU SEND US A GUEST THAT WE TAPE IN OUR STUDIO, WE WILL PAY YOU $150!
ARE YOU A PARENT THAT IS WORRIED ABOUT YOUR TEEN CHILD, BECAUSE YOUR TEEN DAUGHTER OR SON HAS DONE, OR IS DOING, ANY OF THE FOLLOWING THINGS TO BECOME FAMOUS?:
— SEXTING
— MADE A SEX TAPE
— ATTEMPTED TO BE A PORN STAR
...
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Just Had The Best Idea I've Ever Had
I’m going to make LIVESTRONG type bracelets that say RIDERSTRONG. Who wants one?
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The Truth About My Father Part 2
As of yesterday the doctors have changed their diagnosis from ALS to Myasthenia Gravis. Myasthenia Gravis presents itself pretty similarly to ALS BUUUUUUUUUT is not fatal. MG is a pretty shitty chronic disease but it’s not going to kill him. In fact, people with MG go through times of remission, so dude is golden.
Thanks everyone for being nice to me. Daddy Forever!
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The Truth About Types Not To Date
People that don’t drink. There is a reason they don’t drink. They probably drank too much at one point. More power to them for quitting, but when they say they don’t judge people that do drink they are lying. They are lying so hard. No your limits but don’t ruin my buzz man.
People that judge people based upon their nerdy interests. I’m talking to you Alyssa...
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The Truth About The Backslide
It will begin innocently enough with a facebook invite to an event you always went to together. You know he’ll go so you won’t go.
Then your new crush won’t call so you’ll eat pizza and hangout with your parents.
You’ll tell yourself you’re being ridiculous so you’ll go out. You’ll run into a big group of people who don’t know about the...
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The Truth About Gay Bars
Someone will tell you you’re pretty. I know this is a stereotype of the gay man/straight woman relationship but damn if its not true. This stereotype is as true as jews loving money. (Seriously we love that shit.)
The music mix will be very confusing. What is it about gay bars and techno? Who likes that? But at the same time they’ll play awesome old school Madonna and you’ll...
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