Washing your hands with an unfamiliar soap. For example right now my hands smell like I’ve been jacking off one of those soft pink frosting sugar cookies.

Set up a budget. Apparently shoes are not a life necessity.

Read about how Tyra Banks met her new boyfriend while traveling in Asia. Bonus points for reading while listening to Dubstep.

Do and/or say something stupid the night before. You’ll wake up, take a beat, then feel it all over again. “Oh yeah, I almost forgot, I’m the worst” is a great way to start your day. Extra points if that moment comes back days, months, years later and keeps you up at night. Stupid humanity.

Put off getting your bangs cut. The fringe that will literally stab you in the eye will be a real delight.